Sending a voice note in a chat is 48% more likely to lead to a date, according to recent Hinge data. More than two-thirds of people, 65%, believe that hearing someone’s voice helps them identify their interests.
“There is a personality that emerges in a way that you can’t capture with a photo or text,” says Mo Ari Brown, therapist and love and communication expert at Hing. “It’s alive. It’s not static.”
For younger generations less accustomed to phone calls, a voice memo is a good step toward feeling like you’re “no longer talking to a mysterious entity,” Brown says.
However, leaving a voice note for someone you haven’t met yet can be awkward. Many of us are bothered by our own voice, which can make it difficult to know exactly how to interact with others.
If you feel uncomfortable leaving voice notes, here are some tips that can at least help you sound more appropriate.
Research suggests that a big part of how we interpret what someone says is through their tone, says Preston Nee, a communication coach and author of “7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success.”
“Often, it’s not what you say, but how you say it that influences attraction, interest, persuasion, and respect,” he says. “In general, an attractive voice is one that sounds confident, positive, and engaging.”
If you want to flirt with someone you match on a dating app, try smiling when you talk. “Smiling naturally while speaking can often impart a warmer tone of voice,” says Nee.
Smiling naturally while speaking often creates a warmer tone of voice.
Preston ne
Communications coach
Even though they can’t see you, it’s good to be mobile. “Using gestures naturally can boost the confidence of your voice,” he says.
It’s also helpful to treat your partner as someone you already have some affection for, says Brown: “I like to encourage people to pretend you’re talking to someone you actually like.”
And try to capture your laughter: “Laugh intentionally at your voice note. Hearing your own laughter can be comforting and bonding.”
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